Bachelor Recipes For the Modern Caveman

July 09, 2021

Bachelor Recipes For the Modern Caveman

You're all about that good life: rich, single, traveling the world, relaxing with your besties, and partying with gorgeous models on private yachts. ūüõ•¬†

Okay, well, at least the "single" part. 

It's really easy to romanticize the idea of the uncoupled man, but even the ultimate Hollywood bachelor - settled down eventually. Why does a handsome leading man settle down? Who knows.

Maybe because he was tired of being lonely. Or being the third wheel. Or having to wear ~protection~. Or perhaps, it wasn't any of those things, and he just missed mom's good old-fashioned cooking and craved a woman's touch in the kitchen - and we don't blame him cuz' nana's pot roast is unbeatable. 

It's a well-worn cliche to criticize single dudes for being lazy (or just downright terrible) cooks who keep nothing but condiments and beer in their refrigerator, feasting only on leftover pizza, Chinese food, or the stale cereal they forgot was collecting dust in the back pantry.

While there's sometruth here, plenty of guys are into cooking these days -- or at least have a sliver of self-respect to fix themselves something semi-nutritious when they're hungry. 

That said, if you're the cliche type of bachelor and are tired of punishing your tastebuds, you're in the right place. In this post, we'll tell you some of the best bachelor recipes that are so good that you'll never miss mom's cooking again -- okay, that's crap ‚Äėcuz mom's the¬†GOAT, but we can try!

But First, Here‚Äôs Why Being a Bachelor Is Totally Awesome ūüė鬆

When you hear the word 'bachelor,' what's the first thing that comes to mind? Most people tend to envision a lonely dude stuck up in an isolated place only to leave when it's time to do laundry at his parent's house.

But the truth is that 'bachelor' is a term used to describe a man who is socially regarded as able to marry but hasn't yet. In simpler terms, if someone calls you a 'bachelor,' it just means you're single (congrats). 

These days, it's nearly impossible to scroll through social media without seeing a million pictures of happy couples, bouncing babies, and family outingsto the zoo. And while you might feel a little pressure to link up with someone for all that purported bliss-- pump the brakes for a hot second: being a bachelor actually has quite a few perks!

Here are some of them:

Perk #1: You Can Travel On a Whim

How do you think your S.O. would react if you woke up and randomly decided to move overseas, go backpacking through Europe, or take a cruise to a tropical island? They probably wouldn't be too happy if you didn't include them in that decision (and rightfully, so!). 

Bachelors, however, have the freedom to travel without hesitation or in regard to other people's schedules (or feelings). If you're a vagabond at heart, then singlehood might be for you.  

Perk #2: You Can Flirt Fearlessly

Single or not, everyone tends to get a little flirty from time to time- especially when booze and good music are involved. That said, if you've taken innocent flirting with the wrong person can get you in a whole lot of trouble.

But if you're a bachelor, on the other hand, you're free to flirt until your heart's content. There's no fear of having to sleep on the couch or getting entangled in a messy breakup. So throwback another whisky neat, go get those digits and let her say hello to your little friend (you know, your furbaby, duhh). 

Perk #3: You Can Eat All the Meat You Want

What do loaded burgers, huge steaks, and pepperoni pizza all have in common? They're all manly foods! Here at Famous In Real Life, we think meat should be enjoyed daily. In fact, we're pretty sure it's at the top of the bachelor food group pyramid.

So if you're single and ready to mingle, consider yourself lucky AF -- go ahead and skip the veggies and indulge in large piles of glorious meat. Don't worry; it's not like anyone is going to stop you. 

Speaking of meat… 

Recipes a Caveman Would Love

Ready to make a little meat magic? Here are two quick recipes that are so good, even a caveman would approve. 

Slow Cooker BBQ Ribs 

Fall-off-the-bone-tender slow cooker bbq ribs with bbq sauce? Yeah, sign us up! 

All you have to do is combine the following in a small bowl: two cups of bbq sauce, ¬ľ cup brown sugar, four tablespoons of cider vinegar, three teaspoons of dried oregano, a splash of Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, and chili powder.

Then, salt and pepper around three pounds of baby back pork ribs before placing them in the cooker and covering with sauce. Cook low and slow for eight hours or high for four hours.

Once they are done, spoon the bbq sauce in the slow cooker over the ribs before removing. Pull them out, cut, and serve with bbq sauce. Enjoy BBQ ASAP, TBH.

Teriyaki Chicken ūü•°

Mmmh! Who doesn't love crispy chicken thighs swimming in a finger-licking-good teriyaki sauce?

Start by cutting up two pounds of chicken thighs into chunks before searing them in a pan. Add 1 cup of soy sauce and ¬Ĺ cup of brown sugar, stirring and bringing to a boil. Keep stirring until the sauce has reduced and evenly glazes the chicken. Serve it as is or with rice and enjoy!

Bro Time

Just because you don't have an S.O. in your life doesn't mean you have to succumb yourself to questionable bachelor chow.

Embrace your manliness and eat all the meat you want! And while you're at it, head on over to Famous In Real Life, where you'll find awesome apparel to rep your single man pride. 

Whether you're looking for a rad tee that features one of your favorite nerdy TV characters or a hoodie to let everyone know you're more of an assman, we have what you need to let your bachelor flag fly.

 

Sources 

Slow Cooker Ribs Recipe | Tasty

3-ingredient Teriyaki Chicken Recipe | Tasty

How to Flirt Over Text | The Cut


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